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Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Ten Things I Want My Daughter To Hear Before She Stops Listening

Daughter, today on your last day of 6th grade, I feel a few different emotions: First, I feel relief, because we won’t have to worry about homework, tests, or projects for the next 2.5 months. Second, I feel excited, because you’re about to embark on the second half of your grade school years! It’ll be super exciting for you, but you may also turn the volume down on your listening ears to your parents during this time. So, before you do that, here are ten things I want you to hear:

1) Everything You Go Through, I Went Through It First
I know it’s hard to believe but, I’ve been 12 ½ years old. And 14. And 16, too. All of the things that are cool were cool back in nineteen ninety-(cough, cough). I know all the tricks that are invented year after year by kids to get over on their teachers and parents- they were actually invented before my generation invented it way back then. And yes, I do “know how it feels” when you experience all of your different feelings. You can talk to me. And I will do my best to listen. I’ll even try really hard not to give you dumb advice-unless you ask me for it.

2) You Are Fabulous!
Psalm 139:13-14 says For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.”
You are going to have a love-not love relationship with yourself. Your body will be going through all kinds of different changes-awesome, then not. You’ll have good hair days, but then your hair won’t act right. You’ll ace a test one week, then get a “C” the next. But even with all of this, know that YOU. ARE. AWESOME! There is no one on this Earth that has the same chromosomes, name, height, weight, voice, or smile as you do. You’re one of a kind. An original one-time model. The world is lucky to know and have you. When things are less than perfect in your mind, know that it’s exactly what your model is meant to do at that moment…but it can change the next. It’s fine. God made you to do and be exactly He wanted.



3) Boys Are Bad
OK, I’m just kidding. Boys are not bad, they’re good! And, they’re cute …and they think girls are cute too. You all will start to notice each other in a way you never did before. I understand this, and am (cough) OK with this. But remember these things: right now, your number one mission is to focus on your studies, learning everything you can while there are people teaching you in school. Your number two mission is to learn everything you need to learn in order to be an independent adult. Number three is to have fun! This is a fun time- you’ll be gaining more and more independence each year, and will be able to enjoy your life with (believe it or not) the least amount of responsibility ever (stay on top of school, your chores, and be respectful)! That being said, there’ll be lots of time in your life after this to be an adult. No one’s getting married at 16 anymore- crushes are OK. But know that you’ll likely have a few broken hearts and break some too during this time. See me- I know the best brands of tissue.


4) Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees

This was my favorite lesson when I was your age. As you’re already figuring out, your parents make a certain amount of money per month. That’s it. With the money we earn, we must pay for our cars, gas, housing, food, and other needs for the family. THEN, after that, we can look at what’s leftover and make choices about where that money can go. The older you get, there’ll be things that you’ll want to have and do that cost money. There will be two ways to achieve these- get it from your parents, or get it for yourself. The easiest way to do this is to get it from your parents by keeping up with school, your chores, and being respectful. It’s been scientifically proven that kids that don’t give their parents a hard time get more stuff! (OK, maybe not scientifically proven, but proven nonetheless). The harder way is to work for it yourself, by getting a job. You’re still a little young for that, but we can chat about that when the time comes…this will involve a larger discussion about balance. Which leads me to…

5) Your Parents Don’t Hate You
You’re going to think this at some point. You may have thought it already. Though it may not seem like it, EVERYthing that we do and say is for your good. The answer to your “whys” can all be categorized by one of the following statements: (1) because it is/isn’t immediately in your best interest (your health, your safety, your grades); (2) because it is/isn’t in your long term best interest (your character, your work ethic, your morals); (3) because we (your parents) can’t make it happen for you (this falls under the ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ heading). If you’re ever in doubt about which of these something falls under, I am happy to discuss with you. In fact, I challenge you to present things to me with these in mind- it may help persuade me one way or the other if you do!

6) Trust Your Gut
Also known as discernment. One definition is of discernment is “The ability to make a good judgment about something”. You’ll find yourself in a situation where there is more than one way to go-if your inner-girl is saying “don’t do this”, trust it. God placed that within you to help you make the best decisions about where you should go, what you should do, and who you should be around. When you pray, pray for clear discernment in your life. Everyone can have it, but some think women have a particular sharpness-women’s intuition. (Your Dad would probably call this “Spidey-Sense”). Google it.

7) You’re Not Like Everyone Else, And That’s OK
This will be a time where all of the kids your age will be trying to form their own identity. But, funny enough, everyone will do things “because other kids are doing it”. This will be a time where you’ll get some opportunities to try different things, and make choices on your own. Remember that for every action, there is a reaction; and for every choice, there is a consequence (good and bad). Please stay smart and stay safe- if you could hurt yourself or anyone else in the short or long run, it shouldn’t be done.


8) What You Do Now Really Will Matter Later
So, there’s this thing that grown-ups like to say: “If only I knew then what I know now”. What that means is that, if only we knew that our choices when we were 13-18 (for example) would make a difference in our lives when we turned 20-25….we may have made better choices. Not to stress you out but, spending a little extra time studying for that science test might make the difference between going away to your #1 university choice or staying in Mom or Dad’s house after high school. Just sayin’.

9) No One Will “Have Your Back” Like Your Family
You have and will make friends- probably really good friends who will be there for you. They’ll be there to vent to when we get on your nerves, when you have your first crush, and may be a “total lifesaver” when you need a copy of the History study guide you leave in your locker. But know this: when times get really tough, and your back is against the wall, NO ONE will “have your back” like your family. You’ve got a whole team of family who’s “specially trained” to be there for you, no matter what. There is no jam too deep that you can get yourself into that we will not do everything in our power to help you out of. Do not be mistaken- there may be jams that you get yourself into that you’ll need to figure your way out of, but we will support you while you do so. Also, there may be consequences for your jam that you need to face, but it’ll be better than letting your medium jam turn into a giant one. Just remember, your friends won’t know the way out any better than you do. They’re busy trying to figure their own lives out!


10) I Love You
Pretty soon, it may not be cool to say it back, or be seen hugging or kissing me. But, I want you to know that I love you. I’ve always loved you…since before you took your first breath. I’ll try not to raspberry your cheek, or embarrass you on your Facebook account (when you’re allowed to have one).


Now, you can put your earphones in or pump your stereo up and tune me out for the next 6 years (don’t really do this). But, as you enter this next stage of your life, I wish you luck, fun, success, and blessings. I love you to the moon and back, and can’t wait to see and get to know the woman you’re about to become.

Love,

Mom

1 comment:

  1. I love all that you have to share here and to see all these fun photos! xoxo

    ReplyDelete