Stepmotherhood, pt. 1

Can we just be open with one another...?

I'm not really a 'kids' person, per se...I'm not the one gushing over Anne Geddes pictures, I'm not rushing across store parking lots to look inside random ladies strollers, and I'm definitely not volunteering in the church nursery. In fact, I once thought I wanted to be a schoolteacher when I grew up, but after visiting my father's 10th grade math class for a day, retired that notion. Some people have that feeling for kids naturally. I just don't. (Insert your judgment here).
But you say, "Aren't you a mother??". Yes, I am, and I love my daughter to the MOON and back. I'm an aunt as well, and I love my niece and nephew the same way. Perhaps this is why God blessed me with stepmotherhood.

When my husband and I began dating, he was in the midst of a raging custody battle with Sson's mother, and had no custody at that time. I had my daughter 50% of the time (1 week on, 1 week off), and had enjoyed the privilege of dating only on my off weeks. The fact that Hubby had a son didn't affect me at all, and the fact that he was fighting for his son was something that I found very attractive! (I mean, a man really wanting to be in his son's life is SO hot!) :)

For about 4 months, I only heard about his son. Hubby pined for his son, and I consoled him, like a good girlfriend. It wasn't until the Tuesday before we were to leave for our first romantic getaway (to meet both families too) that I received the call (pun intended, for my Christian folks)- "I've gotten 40% custody of my son! Mostly weekends...starting this weekend". I felt so many emotions: I was disappointed- our romantic weekend had become an instant family trip,"why was HIS kid coming and not mine?!?", oh, and we're travelling with a then 4yr old...I would have to help him supervise (read:parent) this kid. Ohhhhh, how I struggled- I was ready to cancel the trip. But even if I did that, we'd just be hanging out at my place or his...with his son. This would be our life, if I wanted to stay with him, if I loved him...and I did.

So, there we were, at LAX...embarking on our journey into blendedness.

On that trip, I had to make Hubby and his son feel as comfortable as possible. It had been over a year since Hubby had his son overnight, and he.was.clueless. Sson was young (for one), nervous, uncomfortable, uncertain, and unstructured. He was accustomed to a very, let's call it flexible, schedule. During that weekend, I helped keep the little duckling in line-making sure his meals were square, he was bathed, entertained, and got to bed at a decent time. It felt very strange at first not having Daughter there (we hadn't planned on her being there), but in hindsight I think know it was meant to be that way. Not sure how I could have given as much attention to SSon that weekend that I did, if I also had to be full time Mommy to my girl.

It's now been about 2 years since that trip, and while I can't say that the trip solidified a my relationship with Sson, I can say that it made clear a theme in my Stepparenting journey: HUMILITY...more on that later.

(This isn't Sson....but it kinda looks like him. Haha)