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Saturday, April 19, 2014

Therefore, what God has joined together, let NO man separate...

...and what's funny about that statement, is that the "man" in that statement is frequently in the marriage (or WOman, of course).

We are so busy today-whether you're a stay-at-home parent or working, we are B.U.S.Y! By the time we complete our workday, pick up the kids, get to the gym, come home, blog, make and eat dinner, check homework, give baths, and put the kids to bed, we are DONE!

But, where was "nurture the relationship" in that? Unfortunately, nowhere.

Hubby and I have long preached "balance" to each other, but have had quite a time walking the walk. In addition to the above, I have my social calendar (I love to enjoy occasional dinners or happy hours with girlfriends), he's in school, and is involved in community work. Though we enjoy being together, it is quite a feat to remember to devote time. One weekend a month, we are without either child and get to "honeymoon", but the rest of the time is pretty hit or miss for us.

Then there's the whole "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" thing. Of course, come the weekend, my husband is seeking...a connection in his way, while I'm seeking a connection in my way. (I'll let you draw your own conclusions on that one). Ultimately, both a husband and wife need connection, and it's not just going to happen on it's own, without both parties trying.

  • "Together-Time" doesn't need to be a big production- it doesn't need to be an elaborate date night, complete with candlelight to be meaningful. Hubby and I once spent an entire weekend binge watching Netflix, and had an amazing time!
  • Sometimes, you'll have to sacrifice something else on your agenda in the interest of feeding the relationship- this doesn't mean cancel your gym membership and drop all of your obligations. It simply means, sometimes, that pilates class or happy hour with the boys will have to take a back seat...you need to stay in with your sweetie instead.
  • Even when you're tired, invest the time-There have been several nights when I've waited up, watery-eyed for Hubby to make it back from a community meeting, just so that he could see me awake for a minute. "How was your day?" goes a long way...
  • Fulfill his needs, and he'll fulfill yours...and you'll fulfill his...and he'll fulfill yours-Marriage is a give-and-take. Step one is understanding what each other needs. Without each having a thorough understanding of this, it's easy to feel like "What I need doesn't matter" or "I'm the only one giving here". Marriage is a tango. Hubby and I stepped on each others toes habitually for awhile there...now we know how to dance much better together. :-)
  • The Kids Need to See that you're more than just "Mommy and Stepdad" or "Stepmom and Dad"-We learn most of what we know about relationships from the marriages we witness growing up. Unfortunately, many of our kids witnessed the tumult of our previous marriages. So, we owe it to them to show that we are working to keep our current marriages healthy.


Pic courtesy of Kim Nellum Photography
 

4 comments:

  1. I could not agree more with you. Love this post. Blended families are amazing and the kids are even more amazing but we also have to remember that Husband and Wife are first and we need to make time for our partner...

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    1. Hi Tricia! Thank you SOOO much for stopping by my blog! I swear, I have to read this myself everyday or something...it's such a simple thing to remember (and easy to forget, if we're not careful!)

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  2. intentionally making time to spend together is so important! love the picture of you two!

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    1. Thank you, Ms. Lisa! INTENT is the theme here, right!? (Can I get an 'amen'?)

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