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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Stepmotherhood, pt.3


On humility...

The first time I saw her was Daughter's baptism. We were at Daughter's father's church, and though I knew there was a fiance, I had never seen her. For the hour or so that we were there, I observed her concerted effort to avoid me: If I was in the front, she was in the rear; if I was in the northeast corner, she was in the southwest. I can only imagine how she felt that day. Who knows what account of the divorce she had received (and I should say, I still don't know or care to know), but it turned out to be just as awkward a non-encounter as society says it should have been. For both of us.

About 6 months later, she was officially his wife. Daughter had reached a point where her school was no longer challenging her, and her Stepmother, a teacher, extended the offer to bring Daughter to the private school where she taught- tuition-free. This would mean that Daughter would carpool with her stepmother everyday to the campus about 20 miles east of our home, and there would be daily contact between us: the former and new wife.

Tensenervousawkward touchbases between Stepmom and I were held weekly outside their home (where Daughter hopped out of one car into the other) to discuss behavior over the week, restrictions, homework, school projects, etc. Eventually, text messages were also exchanged to shoot additional tidbits we'd missed.

Our relationship has evolved into a sisterhood of motherhood. This woman, who I now affectionately call my "Sista-Momma", Daughter's "Bonus Mom" is my tag team partner! I rarely interract with Daughter's Dad, not for avoidancce, but by virtue of my daily contact with Sista-Momma. Our 12 year old is knee deep in teenage hormones (she 'hates' everyone, but loves us too), and we're all feeling it. Sista-Momma and I share tearful hugs when times are tough, pray together when things are bleak, and rejoice together when days are good.

Sista-Momma is my hero. She has forged such a relationship with Daughter that she is the perfect partner for Daughter's Dad. I have no apprehension about the care of Daughter when she's not with me. S-M is respectful of my role as Daughter's mother, but is ankle deep in the battle with me, and I love her. I am a better mother because she's in the trenches with me, and I am proud that Daughter has her as another strong woman to model her own womanhood after. We all should model ourselves after her HUMILITY. She's pretty awesome.

Sista-Momma on the left, me on the right


5 comments:

  1. Hi U! I am so happy to see these positive and exciting updates about your life. You have always inspired and enlightened me! Congratulations on the wedding, on your daughter and stepson... and on being the same tenacious, fun-loving and wonderful person with whom I used to brew coffee and sling bagels... Love ya!

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    1. Thanks so much Joan! Now that I am a bloggeur, I will surely be following yours (which, really I should have anyway, as I've been a wino far longer) ;-)

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  2. Wow. Just...wow!!! Kuddos to ALL of you for making this work. The blogoshphere...humanity...no, THE WORLD needs to hear more stories just like yours.

    You, my friend, are awesome and I am so grateful that you thought to click on my link during the Bloggy Moms hop because that, in essence, is how our paths crossed.

    The kids are up from their naps now, so I've got to go back and read parts 1 and 2 a little later...

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    1. Super sweet, Courtney- thanks for being a gal of your word and showing some love this morning! I've always had a love for writing, and that coupled with this unique situation God's placed me in is a perfect setup to help some folks!

      #nomorebabymamadrama #nomorebabydaddydrama

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    2. Yes, yes!! I'll be in touch...

      The kids are hanging off me now like appendages. :-/

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