Where Have I Been?!?!?!

It’s been well over a week since my last post, and I just…fell off the grid! I’ve some ‘splaining to do!

 

I began a diet, and working out- I started closely watching what I was putting in my mouth (no carbs, no sugars), and working out 3-4 times a week. I’m on a path of trying to get my (health) life together- I’ve gained far too many “happy marriage” pounds, and had reached my rock bottom. So far, so good. But it’s been a time-suck- being at the gym and concentrating on NOT stuffing my face. The sugar withdrawals have been a ton of fun!

I’ve been reading like crazy- I am a TOTAL bibliophile! When I started my blog, I was reading "Heaven is For Real" by Todd Burpos; I then moved right into "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green; I’m now concurrently reading “Not a Fan”, by Kyle Idleman and “Hungry”, by Allen Zadoff. I love moving from book to book, but this too, is a time-suck.

Work has been crazy!! My work has come to a point where I have never experienced. Immense pressure has left me with little energy to do much more than, well, go to the gym, go home and eat my meager portion, and read while sipping chamomile until I slip into a deep slumber. As lovely as this sounds, this has taught me something else as well- I need to adapt better coping skills. Removing snacking and stress eating right before entering into a stressful time has totally shocked my system, and has left me empty, with nothing left for my hubby and children. L We’ve fought (hard) due to my zombielike affect, and had some productive conversations as a result to help him recognize when I’m going into a stress-meltdown (which appears more like a lobotomy than an actual “meltdown”, but…)… I’m a work in progress!

I Celebrated a Birthday (Yay me!) I have now officially entered INTO my 35th year of life (I’ve just turned 34). I feel really great, overall. Didn’t suffer any of the self-imposed “what am I doing with my life” thoughts that have plagued me from time to time. I have an adoring husband who loves me, and whom I love. I think I look pretty good for a 34 yr old mom of an insane pre-teen . Life is good.

 

And so, with all of this said, I am back. While I now realize that daily posting may be a tall order, I will definitely focus my discipline on staying connected at least 3 or 4 times a week. I owe it to you. I owe it to me. It feels good.

 

XOXO,

Ursula

Something's Gotta Give- Weight Loss Wednesdays

"I’m sick of battling my weight."

These were the words I said when my older sister picked up the phone this morning. I was about this weight 6 months ago before the wedding, and about 12 lbs lighter on our actual wedding day. Here is my weight story:


So, I lost 50 lbs 4 years ago. At that point, I was about 30 lbs heavier than I am now, and straight up miserable. I was right on the cusp of turning 30 and I was disgusted with who I had become. I had ALWAYS been thin and athletic. Ran track and danced in High School and stayed pretty thin when I entered college, and was about this weight right after the birth of my daughter.

How I gained 50 lbs:

-I stopped working out.

-I took a pressure-filled job.

-I went back to school and picked up the Six Dollar Burger each day I had school for dinner (sometimes with chili and cheese).

-Stress eating.

As a result, I developed high blood pressure in my mid 20s (who does that?), and was on medication to lower it. And I was miserable.

I started losing the 50 in 2009 as the divorce from my ex-husband ensued. I lost the 50 lbs on Jenny Craig with no problem. I was on a mission: I was about 50% on their program and 50% my own food eating according to their methods. Additionally, I was running 3-4 times per week. I looked BETTER than I did in my early 20s. I was able to stay within 5-8 lbs of my goal weight (sometimes under) for about 2.5yrs, and my doctors took me off of my blood pressure meds.

THEN stuff started getting crazy:

-The man I was dating (HUBS) was in what seemed like a non-stop legal battle with his ex.

-I was on a pressure-filled high profile project at work.

-My workouts grew less and less frequent.

-My blood pressure crept back up, to the point of causing heart issues (I know, it’s bad).

-Docs placed me BACK on blood pressure meds, plus a heart-rate slowing heart med.

-Stress Eating.

And so, ladies and gents. Here I am, 17 lbs heavier than I was when I met Hubs. And it’s not helping that he’s such a loving man who finds me attractive no matter what. But, I’M not happy with me at the present time, I’m starting to feel like junk (physically and mentally), and it’s time to get back on the wagon.

This is about where I am now, weight-wise.

T- 17lbs

Let’s go!

Blessings,

U

Eat The Food, Kid...

Sson doesn’t eat ANYTHING.

Well, that’s not totally accurate. He eats chicken nuggets (NOT chicken stars, fingers, or tenders), and he eats chicken sandwiches (but NOT from McDonalds and definitely not Burger King), he’ll eat corn (SOMETIMES), never broccoli or green beans (but he’ll eat collard greens at times, with no meat). He’ll eat spaghetti as long as the meat to spaghetti ratio is roughly 2:4, and not too saucy. No potatoes of any sort, only rice with chicken broth (no spices from the broth can be visible in his serving. No skin on chicken, only white meat, pork if it tastes like chicken….!@#&#)($&!)&)!#%&^!

Funny enough, he’s a less forgiving version of his father, who eats everything…as long as it’s prepared a certain way.

As I shared before, we only have Sson on weekends (during the school year, which then flips for Summertime and every other Spring Break), which works out for all involved because we tend to eat out more- it’s Pizza night on Fridays, we may have dinner and a movie Saturday, and we typically have lunch/brunch on Sundays after church-so he’s allowed moderately free reign with his meals, as most “kids meals” are a main course (pizza, chicken of some sort, burger + fruit or veggies + juice or milk). The problem comes when we have him during the week. I am not a restaurant, and I do not prepare separate meals.

Last week, we had Sson all week for his Spring Break, with Daughter joining us on Wednesday. Wednesday I made tacos, which Sson likes, but Thursday came and I had the great idea to make chicken sandwiches. I didn’t want to slave in the kitchen for very long, and wanted a no-fuss meal that everyone could enjoy. Went to the store, picked up Tyson brand chicken patties and King’s Hawaiian burger buns (cute, right?). I knew that everyone would want cheese (American for most, Gouda for myself), and that Daughter would want lettuce and no tomato, Hubby would want lettuce and tomato (as would I), and Sson would take a simple patty+cheese+bread with ketchup on the side (he doesn’t like ketchup on the bread because it absorbs). As a side, I steamed some baby Yukon golds and corn to round the meal out. Hubby and I peeled Sson’s potatoes, because the skins were imperfect and would surely turn him off if he noticed a blemish.

With pride, I placed everyone’s plates in their spots at the table. 45 minutes later, Sson says “daddy, I don’t really want these potatoes”. Hubby says “bud, you’re going to need to eat some of the potatoes”, As I get up to place my plate in the kitchen I notice: Sson’s been sitting there for 45 minutes, has eaten one bite of the chicken patty, all of the cheese, and half of the bun. The corn is gone, but the 3 pieces of potato I’ve placed on his plate remain right where they were placed. Cold.

I pick up his plate, say “OK, time’s up, go to bed. We’re not playing these games anymore”, and I turn his plate over into the trash as he gets up to go to bed.

Did I feel bad? Sorta. Was I fed up? Absolutely. I didn’t purchase those chicken patties for the other 75% of the household! We were all eating what could be sold as kids meals, and he didn’t even touch it?!? This is the way Hubby and I were both raised. This is the way Daughter’s been raised. A meal is prepared for the family, and either you eat it…or you don’t. Of course, there is some low (and I mean low) seated guilt—what if he doesn’t eat at all??? What if he’s malnourished at my hands??

So, here’s the thing: I don’t have an answer yet. Here’s what hubby and I are faced with:

-I refuse to make multiple meals to placate Sson.

-I refuse to make nutrient-deficient meals for the whole family to eat, simply because Sson has so many preferences.

-I want to do my part to foster healthy eating habits for Sson (because it’s unclear what’s going on at his other home).

Ideas? Recipes anyone? I want to embark on "Operation Healthy Sson"…if I can build a repertoire of main courses and sides that he’ll tolerate, I can plan meals that are healthy for the WHOLE family, and not repeat the chicken sandwich debacle!

Photo credit: Sheknows.com

Blessings,

U